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How to fix Kris Jenner’s latest fashion faux pas

24 Mar

Ah, the Kardashians!  We, the people, have probably had enough of them, but the gossip press sure hasn’t.  The latest was a smack in the tush to K-Momma Kris Jenner for this outfit, which was described as “too young for her age”.   Most of the criticism of the outfit was levelled at the pants.   Those, however, seem the least egregious to me.  After all, you can find that color in pretty much any “old lady” department.  So, I’m certainly not offended by the color–and quite glad they aren’t embroidered with little penguins or umbrellas all over them.

Likewise the black tee isn’t a faux pas.  It’s your usual tee, no biggie.

Where, then, does the outfit start to fall apart?  It’s the accessories!  Let’s start with the shoes:

OMG, where *does* one start with these fashion travesties!  Leopard clogs with something like a six-inch heel.  You have *got* to be joking.  This style, as well as the huge-heeled covered wedge shoes (which I like to refer to as “Frankenstein boots”) and sky-high pumps are, for most occasions, for the young. They tend to give one’s feet an outsized Olive Oyl/Minnie Mouse/Daisy Duck appearance,  and appear to be oh so cute on,  skinny girls in very, very short skirts.

In a term, they’re ugly, and don’t compliment the  pants, esp. if you’re out running errands.  Who wants to run errands in six-inch heels??  Either a flat (if one insists on leopard) or  a mid-heel neutral toned pump would look great with this kind of pant.

The next set of accessories send the death knell to the outfit:

Oh, gosh, where do we start!  First, the hat: what we would call a fedora and the Daily Mail UK calls a trilby.  Whether trilby or fedora, it actually ages Jenner, whom the Daily Mail describes as looking “much younger than her 56 years” (and she might if she laid off half the accessories she’s sporting.)

Next, let’s tackle 3 in succession:  earrings, bag and jacket.  The earrings simply look trashy, as if they came from a Claire’s shop in the local mall.  Sure, wear a big dangling earring if you like, but not a pair that would look better on someone in high school.  The bag, too, is cheap-looking.  Perhaps an oversize bag is great for shopping, but between the leopard heels and the pink pants, a silver over-sized bag is over-kill.   And then the cropped jacket.  Well, at any age, unless you are wildly thin, a cropped jacket will make your rear end look larger than that of the average school bus.   If you have a penchant for motorcycle jackets–even if you don’t own one–an average length men’s style would have looked better here.  Or, quite frankly, a tuxedo-style suit jacket couldn’t go wrong.

Now, take a look at how daughter Kim accessorized an equally bright pair of blue denims: In this case, daughter really does know best:  Kim wears flat sandals with a matching large bag, light-colored neutral toned tee, cropped tuxedo style jacket, and simple large hoop earrings.  The outfit looks just as effortless and far more polished…..

Which brings up one of my most important points for women over 40:  When dressing in trends, make sure you do not look like a throwback to your teens or 20′s.  Kris’s tough chick black-silver-leopard accessories in many, many ways give the look an 80′s gloss.  Nothing will age a woman more than futile attempts to replay her past in her current wardrobe.

Which reminds me:  K-Momma might want to think about getting that signature black dyed short haircut a rest.  That’s another 80′s style relic.  I did it too, back in the ’80′s,  but would never, never think of going back to that.  My gosh! It would be like wearing a pompadour with a fishtail!  While it may look cute and retro on someone in her 20′s,  it won’t make anyone in her 50′s look cute.  She’ll look just retro–like a puffy-sleeved dress in an antique clothing store.

SO…..the moral of the story is:  it’s not the pop-of-color pants that cause the fashion faux pas, it’s the poorly chosen and badly matched 80′s influenced accessories.  If you feel you’d like a pair of brights, go right ahead, but make sure you accessorize in a polished, modern way.

Average Woman Looks at Spring 2012 Trends: Florals

8 Mar

Let me start by saying that, even as a kid, I don’t think florals were my fashion “thing.”   Now, they’re *really* not my thing.  So, I had a bit of a panic attack when I heard that florals were one of the big trends for Spring 2012….

Turns out that I’m not the only one who has some trouble with the whole florals thing.  According to a recent reader’s poll survey published in the March issue of InStyle magazine, only 17 percent of readers were looking forward to this spring trend (that means 83 percent are less than enthusiastic about florals.)

So, what can one do about all those florals?  Well, there’s always the option to totally ignore the trend.  But if you’re in the process of updating your wardrobe, or need new sizes, there are ways to bring florals into your wardrobe without looking like you’re attending a 1980′s British garden party…..

One way is to look at the color and placement of the floral pattern.  I love this look from White House/Black Market

The pattern is simple black and white, which starts out more dense at the top; and I love the way the pattern trails off asymmetrically.  This is the kind of dress that could be spruced up for a special occasion with pearls and heels or mixed into daily wardrobe with simple or sporty accessories.

Another White House/Black Market piece that I particularly love is this floral pencil skirt:

I love the way the pattern hugs the body of the skirt, but does not overwhelm it. The colors are subtle, giving it a retro look.  I like too, the way the white breaks up the pattern.  If it were all over, well, I’d feel like I had a big floral butt–not something I’d be all that happy with showing off.   However, I would be very interested to try this skirt on to see just how the pattern works on my particular body. Pencil skirts are usually flattering,  but even a flattering cut can go wrong if the pattern doesn’t work for one’s figure (as in horizontal stripes.  a total “oh no!” for my shape.)

Overall, one has to know one’s figure in order to know whether a floral will work for her or not.  Some women may look fantastic in flowing exotic floral prints, while others might look best in a pair of pants with a small or even crazy-big floral print.  If you’re unsure, I’d recommend not something floral all-over but rather one piece that fits well.  If you find you can’t be all that objective about a trend, and buy clothes usually because you simply *love* the trend, then have a good friend tell you if the piece you’ve chosen works for you or not.  Your trendy ego might be a little bruised, but it’s better to have an honest opinion than look like a trendy hot mess.

Heidi Klum’s latest look and the Average Woman

16 Jun

Take  a look at Heidi Klum’s ensemble featured in the June 3, 2011 Look of the Moment feature in  T Magazine:

Now, this is a *great* look!  On trend with the vertical striped cropped pants and neat cardigan.

The question is this:  if the Average Woman isn’t built like Heidi (and lord knows most of us aren’t!)  could she still pull off a look similar to this?

Answer:  Yes!  a few simple changes and anybody could pull off a look similar to Heidi’s

For the pants:  substitute straight leg summer trousers, well-fitting crops,  or not-too-tight jeggings.  In black or white.

For the shoes:  personally, I don’t mind the height, but if I were wearing black crops or trousers, I’d wear red or pink.  Make sure it’s shocking pink and not light pink.  Light pink and you end up with a retro-retro look: the 50′s channeled through the 80′s.  Then, you look like a relic.  If you can’t manage high heels, try a red flat or a jeweled flat.  Do not do a plain black flat!  Since we are ditching the striped pants you’ll need a pop of color somewhere.

Don’t try for that “pop” with statement jewelry.  This is supposed to be casual, early summer and is perfect without big jewelry.

Keep the cardi and the tee.  These pieces would look great on any body (really!)  You should already have a good white tee already in your wardrobe.  The cardigan is the only item you might want to consider buying, if you don’t already have something like it, or have a cardigan you might want to re-purpose with a little bit of black ribbon sewn around the edge.   I’d spring for the new cardigan, since the shape is on trend and would compliment sheath dresses and perhaps a pair of red paints.

Google Gets Stylish with Boutiques.com

17 Nov

Who knew the guys at Google would come up with something as fun as Boutiques.com!  According to the blurb on the Official Google Blog Boutiques.com is designed to create “a personalized shopping experience that lets you find and discover fashion goods, by creating your own curated boutique or through a collection of boutiques curated by taste-makers…” (taste-makers being celebrities and that sort…)

I’m a little crunched for time today, but spent a bit of it on Boutiques.com playing with Step 1: Stylyzer.  I clicked a series of pictures of what I liked–which it then crunched to give me a style result.  It told me that I like a “Classic” style.  And for the most part this is true (what “classic” translates to nowadays is not what the ladies of  the “Golden Girls” wear.  whew!)  I was also able to add “Edgy” and “Casual Classic”  to my style repertoire.

There are six steps in all, where you can chose your loves/hates for dresses, tops, bottoms and designers.  You pick the styles, the colors, and the patterns…

Google’s put in all sorts of algorithms to crunch data in order to make recommendations based on what I’ve entered compared with what the taste-makers have liked. Then it makes recommendations. I’ll spend time with this later to see what it recommends for me.  I’m rather excite to see what comes up, and if this will be a cool tool for girls of any age, or if it is geared towards that 18-34 demographic–and then drops the rest of us on our stylish heads (as most fashion magazines do.)

Note:  most of the stories linked on Techmeme talk about the site from a tech/marketing perspective.   That’s all well and good, but if it doesn’t appeal to women’s sensibilities as well as be easy to use and navigate (so far a plus for both) then it will crash and burn like Google Wave.  Let’s see what happens when I dig into it and put it through its paces!