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Beautiful Women Over 40: Salma Hayek, 45 makes the cover of Lucky Magazine

10 Apr

I was sooo happy when I received my May issue of Lucky with Salma Hayek on the cover!    The shopping-and-fashion mag tends to have lots of under 35 starlets from both TV and movies on the cover, many of them I’m either unfamiliar with or just don’t care about.  But Hayek’s life, how she’s managed her career, and what she thinks of herself are important reads for any woman at any age.

Some of the key takeaways from Jean Godfrey-June’s feature on Hayek ,for me, were about how she views her body and her skin.  She admits to being short and curvy (read: not fat) and sometimes wanting to be smaller.  Yes, the world around us sometimes makes us want to hide our breasts and behinds as they are so often objectified.  Thus, we might fear that we, too, are objectified–and who knows that better than a celebrity, who may be picked apart at any  moment for a change in her face, or what she eats, or anything….

Hayek also admits to acne when younger, taking Accutane, and the resulting skin sensitivity.  She also mentions her grandmother’s beauty concoctions (my mom had some too!) , her own Nuance beauty line, and NOT having Botox.

Now, how many of our celebrities can admit to *that* one?  Not many, that’s for sure, and a whole ton of the over 40 set seem to be addicted to the stuff.  Rumor has it that some dermatologists are recommending it for women in their late 20′s and 30′s.  Here’s her thoughts on Botox and skin:

“Botox, trust me I’ve been tempted—but I resist! Think about what happens to your muscles—and your skin—if you’re sick and don’t move for a few days. It all atrophies! Plus, if you freeze a muscle in your face, other muscles have to compensate! And once you stop, what does that look like?” Before I can issue a rebuttal she offers another theory: “You know Latin people? African-American people? How our skin ages more slowly? Even though we’re dramatic, we move our faces, we eat higher-fat foods, we’re the ones with fewer wrinkles—it makes you wonder.”

IMO, what one eats definitely has an effect on one’s skin.  I know this from my own experience.  Yes, some of it is genetic, but also if you eat good fats–extra virgin olive oil, avocados, salmon–and this helps skin integrity. Eating these kinds of mono unsaturated fats is a good idea at any age.   Staying out of the sun and out of tanning beds helps too.  The late 70′s and early 80′s were big on tanning, and  I got a lot of ribbing about being “whitey” during that time when I was in my teens.  However, it’s paid off in the long run.  Even the dermatologist I saw last week for a sun-un-related skin condition remarked that my overall skin was quite nice. :)

Yet, Hayek, indirectly, brings up another point about our perceptions of beauty:  it has always been more acceptable for Latin and African-American women to be curvy.  Anglo, and those of us who resemble the Anglo side of our heritage more than the more “ethnic” sides tend to be overly concerned about our weight because the image of the perfect Anglo-Saxon Protestant American woman is one that also reflects the Nordic marauders–tall, slim and blond– who contributed to that gene pool.  So, if one is not identified as Latina or African-American, there’s this odd assumption that to be anything but tall and thin and small-breasted is somehow an indication of  weakness…

I could go on about these ridiculous assumptions, and their roots, but I digress. .

All in all, Hayek is, perhaps, one of the healthiest women in Hollywood today, and this profile gives us a peek into how we, too, could foster healthy attitudes about our bodies as we are getting older,  to no obsess over our minor imperfections, and how to, ultimately enjoy our lives.

 

 

 

Don’t hate Samantha Brick because she’s beautiful (but you might hate her for writing about it…)

6 Apr

I found out about this extraordinary little article with the overly-long headline–There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful–by British journalist Samantha Brick through some friends on Facebook.  My reaction to the article was “wow, that’s a ridiculous, trite and mediocre article,” but their reaction, and the reactions of a whole lot of other people, has been pretty virulent.   I can totally understand why, too….

Brick makes a point to tell us, right off the bat, that she gets free things from men all the time because of how “beautiful” she is, and that women are very mean to her because of her beauty…..

Honestly, the opening paragraphs of the story, where Brick details all the gifties is pretty hard to read because she gives the impression that she blows off all this attention as par for the course:

“. . .And whenever I’ve asked what I’ve done to deserve such treatment, the donors of these gifts have always said the same thing: my pleasing appearance and pretty smile made their day.

While I’m no Elle Macpherson, I’m tall, slim, blonde and, so I’m often told, a good-looking woman. I know how lucky I am. But there are downsides to being pretty — the main one being that other women hate me for no other reason than my lovely looks. . .”

The “luck” seems to be that she’s been genetically gifted with certain looks.  But the “luck” is in the getting of said gifts–and making a point to give us three examples and the impression that this sort of thing happens on a daily basis.

Now, over the years, I’ve had my share of men who have thought I’m fabulous–the thing is, though, in the grander scheme of things, in the grander scheme of my awful ex husband, the bullies in middle and high school, and the nasty thugs in nightclubs,  hearing about it tends to be a rare occasion.  A giftie is an even more rare.  Maybe that’s American men, or maybe it’s that  I’m just an old broad now and was out of circulation when Brick was getting her attention.   But when I have received gifts, I’ve been pretty well shocked and amazed by them.  I don’t expect anything from anyone, so it’s pretty much a “wow, what’s *that* all about?” kind of thing.  I will be gracious and say “thank you” to the person, probably blush, but….wow….I certain wouldn’t think it’s necessarily going to happen again…

Maybe that comes from living in a place that’s saturated with media–where we are constantly surrounded by the plastic surgeried and way-too photoshopped stars and starlettes.   We are continually told that they are so far superior to us, but that if we just work out hard enough, and maybe make enough money to fix ourselves up, that maybe, we, too, can be as gorgeous beauteous beauties as they are…..Oh horse puckey!

When I was in college, there was a chick in the house I lived in, who made it a point to always tell us how much men loved her because she was a six-foot tall blonde  (sorry I’m just a stumpy brunette.)  I always thought her constant statements to this effect, and her constant bragging about how much sex she was getting, came from a deep and annoying well of insecurity.

I sort of feel the same way about Brick–that there’s something lurking deep-down that propelled her to write this article–which yammers on and on and on, in a rather narcissistic manner, about how hard it is to be Brick.   It’s that exact narcissistic tone that causes the reader–in particular, this reader– to be less than sympathetic.   There’s a fine line between healthy self-esteem and narcissism, and thinking and writing as if you are the  *only* woman with this particular problem, doesn’t help you make your case.   Seriously.  Brick couldn’t find any other women who’ve had these sorts of things happen to them?  Really?  Did she even bother to find any?  Or was this all the exercise in vanity that it sounds like?

 

Granted, I won’t get a free bottle of champagne from a pilot any time soon–but maybe that has more to do with the fact that I fly usually wearing comfortable clothing, no makeup, never First Class, and on Sardine Can Airlines, where I doubt they even know what Champale looks like…..

 

Which raises another issue about Brick’s plight that might make some sense of it:  Western Culture sees the tall, slim blonde as the “golden girl,” a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant Ideal Woman.  It’s what makes millions of women spend millions of dollars on millions of bottles of hair color every year so that they might appear to be a Golden Girl Goddess.  The satirical novel “The Bergdorf Blondes” lampoons a particular kind of  upper-class New York based Golden WASP Girl that still makes her home in NYC (and probably always will–because she has social class status.)   So, I’m sure that, when certain men see Samantha Brick, she strikes a chord with them, sends a signal that she may be some upper crusty Golden Goddess Girl.

 

So what?   So what if that’s what some men believe her to be.  I understand why some of the people I know may have been really peeved by Brick’s little tirade, but I don’t get why so many others should be so darned peeved.   To me, it seems like the public’s reaction to Brick’s narcissistic narrative was just as bad and almost pathological.  I probably won’t come up against this woman in my lifetime, so why should I take what she’s written so personally and try to knock her off her self-erected pedestal?    When I think about it, it seems that a whole lot of people have a whole lot of spare time to get themselves all worked up over some overly self-important Brit.

 

In my world, I’ve got bigger fish to fry–other things to do, better people to read about and good friends to hang out with.  I can’t be bothered looking up and reading any of the negative nonsense directed at Brick.  Reading her article was enough thankyouverymuch for me think she’s a very silly woman who I can ignore while I get on with the business of my life, and making my life better.   What really matters is how I feel about me, and what Brick feels about herself has no impact on me.

 

So, no, Samantha Brick, I don’t hate you–and that doesn’t mean I think you’re as beautiful as you say you are, or that I’m as pretty as you are, or that neither of us is all that hot.  It just means that I’m perfectly happy about me,  and I don’t need to dredge up vitriol for someone I’ll never meet.  I don’t need the negativity that comes with “hating” or wanting to hurt someone because of what she thinks of herself.

 

And neither should you, dear readers.  Neither should you.

How to fix Kris Jenner’s latest fashion faux pas

24 Mar

Ah, the Kardashians!  We, the people, have probably had enough of them, but the gossip press sure hasn’t.  The latest was a smack in the tush to K-Momma Kris Jenner for this outfit, which was described as “too young for her age”.   Most of the criticism of the outfit was levelled at the pants.   Those, however, seem the least egregious to me.  After all, you can find that color in pretty much any “old lady” department.  So, I’m certainly not offended by the color–and quite glad they aren’t embroidered with little penguins or umbrellas all over them.

Likewise the black tee isn’t a faux pas.  It’s your usual tee, no biggie.

Where, then, does the outfit start to fall apart?  It’s the accessories!  Let’s start with the shoes:

OMG, where *does* one start with these fashion travesties!  Leopard clogs with something like a six-inch heel.  You have *got* to be joking.  This style, as well as the huge-heeled covered wedge shoes (which I like to refer to as “Frankenstein boots”) and sky-high pumps are, for most occasions, for the young. They tend to give one’s feet an outsized Olive Oyl/Minnie Mouse/Daisy Duck appearance,  and appear to be oh so cute on,  skinny girls in very, very short skirts.

In a term, they’re ugly, and don’t compliment the  pants, esp. if you’re out running errands.  Who wants to run errands in six-inch heels??  Either a flat (if one insists on leopard) or  a mid-heel neutral toned pump would look great with this kind of pant.

The next set of accessories send the death knell to the outfit:

Oh, gosh, where do we start!  First, the hat: what we would call a fedora and the Daily Mail UK calls a trilby.  Whether trilby or fedora, it actually ages Jenner, whom the Daily Mail describes as looking “much younger than her 56 years” (and she might if she laid off half the accessories she’s sporting.)

Next, let’s tackle 3 in succession:  earrings, bag and jacket.  The earrings simply look trashy, as if they came from a Claire’s shop in the local mall.  Sure, wear a big dangling earring if you like, but not a pair that would look better on someone in high school.  The bag, too, is cheap-looking.  Perhaps an oversize bag is great for shopping, but between the leopard heels and the pink pants, a silver over-sized bag is over-kill.   And then the cropped jacket.  Well, at any age, unless you are wildly thin, a cropped jacket will make your rear end look larger than that of the average school bus.   If you have a penchant for motorcycle jackets–even if you don’t own one–an average length men’s style would have looked better here.  Or, quite frankly, a tuxedo-style suit jacket couldn’t go wrong.

Now, take a look at how daughter Kim accessorized an equally bright pair of blue denims: In this case, daughter really does know best:  Kim wears flat sandals with a matching large bag, light-colored neutral toned tee, cropped tuxedo style jacket, and simple large hoop earrings.  The outfit looks just as effortless and far more polished…..

Which brings up one of my most important points for women over 40:  When dressing in trends, make sure you do not look like a throwback to your teens or 20′s.  Kris’s tough chick black-silver-leopard accessories in many, many ways give the look an 80′s gloss.  Nothing will age a woman more than futile attempts to replay her past in her current wardrobe.

Which reminds me:  K-Momma might want to think about getting that signature black dyed short haircut a rest.  That’s another 80′s style relic.  I did it too, back in the ’80′s,  but would never, never think of going back to that.  My gosh! It would be like wearing a pompadour with a fishtail!  While it may look cute and retro on someone in her 20′s,  it won’t make anyone in her 50′s look cute.  She’ll look just retro–like a puffy-sleeved dress in an antique clothing store.

SO…..the moral of the story is:  it’s not the pop-of-color pants that cause the fashion faux pas, it’s the poorly chosen and badly matched 80′s influenced accessories.  If you feel you’d like a pair of brights, go right ahead, but make sure you accessorize in a polished, modern way.

Indulge your inner retro-sexy Happy Homemaker with Tie Me Up Aprons

22 Mar

If you’re like me, you probably do a fair share of cooking.  And if you’re even more like me, you’ve probably ruined a shirt or dress or something else while you were cooking.   My Mom always used to tell me to wear an apron while cooking, so that I wouldn’t ruin what I was wearing.  So when my friend, photographer Bruce Barone, posted some pictures he took for   Tie Me Up Aprons , I  thought I’d died and gone to clothes preserving apron heaven!

Anita Senkowski, proprietress of Tie Me Up Aprons, creates her unique confections from out-of-production and

NEW!! The REAL Krispy Kreme Girl Apron. A Tie Me Up Exclusive!!

vintage fabrics.  She has a great eye for color and pattern and assembles her aprons with a certain je-ne-sais-quois  that will make you say “hey, that’s wicked cool! I’ve got to have it!”

Considering the new season of Mad Men starts on Sunday–well, you might just need one of these to protect your perfect Betty Draper party dress while serving era appropriate hors d’oeuvres!

If you order now, enter the code HIGHFASHION1 and you will receive a 15% discount on any apron, including the made to order Zen Charmer (from a very limited fabric) This offer extends through March 31, 2012!

Tie Me Up Aprons are hand crafted in Michigan, USA, and ships worldwide (so no excuses you people in the UK, Australia, and everywhere else.)  Tie Me Up takes PayPal, Visa, Mastercard, and Discover.

“Like” Tie Me Up on Facebook and follow for the latest updates on the new fabrics Anita’s getting plus other cool news from Tie Me Up.

Photo courtesy of Bruce Barone Photography

Average Woman Looks at Spring 2012 Trends: Florals

8 Mar

Let me start by saying that, even as a kid, I don’t think florals were my fashion “thing.”   Now, they’re *really* not my thing.  So, I had a bit of a panic attack when I heard that florals were one of the big trends for Spring 2012….

Turns out that I’m not the only one who has some trouble with the whole florals thing.  According to a recent reader’s poll survey published in the March issue of InStyle magazine, only 17 percent of readers were looking forward to this spring trend (that means 83 percent are less than enthusiastic about florals.)

So, what can one do about all those florals?  Well, there’s always the option to totally ignore the trend.  But if you’re in the process of updating your wardrobe, or need new sizes, there are ways to bring florals into your wardrobe without looking like you’re attending a 1980′s British garden party…..

One way is to look at the color and placement of the floral pattern.  I love this look from White House/Black Market

The pattern is simple black and white, which starts out more dense at the top; and I love the way the pattern trails off asymmetrically.  This is the kind of dress that could be spruced up for a special occasion with pearls and heels or mixed into daily wardrobe with simple or sporty accessories.

Another White House/Black Market piece that I particularly love is this floral pencil skirt:

I love the way the pattern hugs the body of the skirt, but does not overwhelm it. The colors are subtle, giving it a retro look.  I like too, the way the white breaks up the pattern.  If it were all over, well, I’d feel like I had a big floral butt–not something I’d be all that happy with showing off.   However, I would be very interested to try this skirt on to see just how the pattern works on my particular body. Pencil skirts are usually flattering,  but even a flattering cut can go wrong if the pattern doesn’t work for one’s figure (as in horizontal stripes.  a total “oh no!” for my shape.)

Overall, one has to know one’s figure in order to know whether a floral will work for her or not.  Some women may look fantastic in flowing exotic floral prints, while others might look best in a pair of pants with a small or even crazy-big floral print.  If you’re unsure, I’d recommend not something floral all-over but rather one piece that fits well.  If you find you can’t be all that objective about a trend, and buy clothes usually because you simply *love* the trend, then have a good friend tell you if the piece you’ve chosen works for you or not.  Your trendy ego might be a little bruised, but it’s better to have an honest opinion than look like a trendy hot mess.

New Year’s Resolution: Losing Weight vs. Dieting

27 Dec

“Diet” is a four-letter word (correction: foul-letter word….)

honestly, I rarely consider the numbers on the scale as much as I consider the numbers on my dress size

I don’t believe in “dieting” per se.  I do, however, believe in losing weight when it’s appropriate.  When the number of outfits in my wardrobe that fit comfortably is disproportionate to the total number of outfits therein, it is most certainly time to lose some weight.  (or start building a new wardrobe, which most of us, esp. this time of year, can ill afford….)

Luckily when I was younger, I put down a good foundation of muscle.  Muscle has memory, fat doesn’t.  So, once the muscle is activated through exercise (or more movement in general) it will “remember’ its correct, un-crumpled position in my body, straighten up, and begin to burn the poundage that currently presses on it.

Unlike a lot of women, though, I don’t regret the weight I’ve gained, nor is it having a negative impact on my health.  I come from some rather hearty genetic stock, so I seem to be able to carry a whole lot of weight and not have it impact my sleep, breathing, cholesterol, blood sugar, or any other system that would lead my doctor to tell me that I need to lose weight.  Conceivably, I could stay my current chunky monkey self and not feel one whit of guilt….

Speaking of not feeling one whit of guilt, unlike so many of those sad sacks on the Oprah Winfrey’s show and network, I didn’t gain my weight from overeating because of some sort of devastating emotional issue.  Yes, I had some emotional issues: last December I lost my Father and the project I was working on folded.  There was one other thing too, but I don’t recall right now (these things usually happen in threes for me.)   And yes, I ate more than my fair share of red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting.  While this more than likely was a contributing factor to my weight gain, I don’t feel bad about it, don’t feel that I need to punish myself  nor do I feel a need to “confess” the sins of my over-eating.

Sh*t happens.  Sometimes we take comfort in food.  I doesn’t mean it’s a “compulsion” and doesn’t mean it will lead to all sorts of devastation…

But I digress…..

Back to the whole “diet” thing….

Now, I don’t plan to diet.  Not at all.  Won’t be going to Weight Watchers (although I understand their programs work very well) and won’t be consulting with any of the books that are out there.  I know my body fairly well–as we all should at some point in our lives–and know what works comfortably for me.  Here are seven food-related steps I plan to take to lose weight, not diet, which you may find helpful as well.

      1. Lower carbs, boost protein.  Over the past two weeks I noticed myself nodding after my morning oatmeal.  I switched to bacon and eggs and had a great energy and mood boost.  Therefore, oatmeal is out, and protein like eggs, bacon, ham, and others are in for breakfast.
      2. Eat more fish.  Beef is another comfort food:  stews, chuck steaks, chili.  Esp. really good burgers like I can get at my favorite restaurant.  However, it tends to pack on the pounds.  Fish is far better, and I actually like it.  Just have to make sure I don’t drown it in some kind of sauce or sugary stuff.
      3. Step away from the candy, embrace fruit.  Mandarin oranges, apples with a bit of peanut butter are great.  Stay away from the pineapple though.  It’s high sugar and, for me, is an appetite stimulant.
      4. Back away from the booze.  Lower the intake to once a week of wine.
      5. Do the French thing: if wine, no bread; if bread no wine.  It cuts sugary carbs, and works.
      6. Whole wheat pasta and brown rice.  Extra fiber can’t hurt.
      7. Don’t get stupid about it  If I’m out with friends, I don’t have to announce that I’m on a diet, and I don’t have to eat “diet” food. I can enjoy that time without feeling guilty.

More than likely it helps that my goals are reasonable.  I am not trying to be a size “Jessica Parker.”   I’m merely attempting to get back into my current wardrobe, which includes some very nice size 12 skirts.  I want “well-managed curves” (as one guy once told me I had) and not my little jelly belly.   Grieving is over, it’s time to move on.

Want some more good tips? Check out 7 Healthy Steps to Get rid of Holiday Fat! from AllWomenStalk.com

Lagerfeld Inspires with 2012 pre-Fall Collection, LeWeb Interview

14 Dec

More often than not I’ll view the video or photos of a fashion show and think “meh” or “omg, that’s ugly.”  Believe me, it’s not that I don’t “get it.”  I’ve been “getting” the whole fashion thing since about 1980.  It’s just that most of it leaves me rather underwhelmed with its rehashed style and retro kink.  Then I peruse the Chanel 2012 pre-Fall collection,  and I find myself having a Wow Moment.  Tim Banks writing for Style.com describes it thusly:

The theme “Paris-Bombay” was a reminder that Europe’s fashion industry has increasingly turned to India to produce extravagantly handworked pieces as it has become prohibitively expensive to make them at home. [Karl] Lagerfeld’s fiendish plan was to flip the equation, so that everything that looked intricately Indian was actually made by Chanel’s ateliers in Paris. That was some kind of tour de force….

All that aside, Paris and Bombay blended beautifully in pearl-swagged tweeds, in a raw silk tunic over leggings (they were actually sinuously bootlike, so we should probably call them beggings or loots), in sheer paisleys, or side-draped asymmetry in ivory silk.

Wow,  indeed!

Now, I might not want to wear an entire ensemble from the collection.  That would be a tad too costume-y.  I could, though, easily add a piece here and there, and bring a little Parisian-Indian elegance to my wardrobe.  Here are some of the complete looks that I would then take a piece from, here and there, to the continuing fashion  Story of Me

And then, my friend Halley Tucker, who was at the LeWeb tech conference in Paris, blogged LeWeb founder Loic LeMeur’s interview with Karl Lagerfeld!  She captured the most insightful moments from the interview.  The stand-out of the interview was Lagerfeld discussing the way he indulges new technologies while never forgetting the importance of the tactile world (something a whole lot of geek-techy types want us to think is unimportant.)  The best, though, is Lagerfeld’s sentiments about social networking overload: “It’s not about being overly connected, it’s about being WELL connected.”

Indeed!